Poetry – To Begin With 2

“Let me ask you this.

Do you also think that beauty exists for some

   fabulous reason?

 

And, if you have not been enchanted by this adventure —

   your life —

what would do for you?”

 

– To Begin With the Sweet Grass – 6

Mary Oliver

Poetry – Nightingale

“My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,
But being too happy in thine happiness, —
That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees,
In some melodious plot
Of beechen green, and shadows numberless,
Singest of summer in full-throated ease.

. . .

Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!
No hungry generations tread thee down;
The voice I hear this passing night was heard
In ancient days by emperor and clown:
Perhaps the self-same song that found a path
Through the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home,
She stood in tears amid the alien corn;
The same that oft-times hath
Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas in faery lands forlorn.

Forlorn! the very word is like a bell
To toll me back from thee to thy sole self!
Adieu! the fancy cannot cheat so well
As she is fam’d to do, deceiving elf.
Adieu! adieu! thy plaintive anthem fades
Past the near meadows, over the still stream,
Up the hill-side; and now ’tis buried deep
In the next valley-glades:
Was it a vision, or a waking dream?
Fled is that music: — Do I wake or sleep?”

– Ode to a Nightingale

John Keats

Poetry – To Begin With

“We do one thing or another; we stay the same, or we

   change.

Congratulations, if

   you have changed.”

 

– To Begin With the Sweet Grass – 5

Mary Oliver

Change of Perspectives

The picture above is a tweet that I sent out earlier today. Its content, along with some other recent events, have started me thinking about my perspectives. Just two years ago, I never would have thought that I would be capable of what I have now accomplished. Performing in pit orchestras, participating in State UIL solos and a string quartet, and taking private lessons from a member of the Harrington String Quartet, who just got back from a European tour I might add, all seem like incredible achievements. Now, they don’t seem like that big of a deal because they are relative to my current skill set and I have adapted to them. Then, they seemed like things only hugely talented and driven people would ever be able to accomplish. Every now and again, however, I get a small reminder of what exactly it is that I’m doing – hence the above tweet.

For lack of a better method of explanation, consider the following metaphor: you never expect to meet your favorite celebrity until you happen to run into them at the grocery store. Now, you have become good friends and their status has changed in your eyes because you see them for who they really are – you see them for yourself. Sometime later, a group of fans come up and ask hysterically for your friend’s autograph and you realize again who they are to the eyes to others – and upon remembering your initial awe of them are astounded upon your present position. This is how I feel, though obviously not to the same extent.

This feeling of mine is not contained to music – it also applies to having graduated high school, completed the IB program, and being involved in varying social circles. That last one may come as a surprise. I never expected to have many friends, but I have ended up with an astounding amount. This last year especially, I made a concentrated effort to connect to the underclassmen in orchestra because I knew how much it meant to me when I was in their position. This has resulted in a series of surprises – recognition from people whom I thought didn’t even know I existed, invitations to movies and parties, and even five prom invitations. Just last year, I never expected to get asked to prom once, let alone by five different people. When I say an astounding amount of friends, understand that it is still very few compared to the majority of other people’s social circles, or at least I am under the impression that it is. It is still far above the amount I ever expected to have.

I’m not sure what this change in perspectives means, but every time I catch myself as in the moment tweeted above, I have to just sit back and marvel at my situation. I have come farther than I have ever expected myself to come, and it feels wonderful. My thoughts on the matter have wandered – is it because I had set low standards for myself previously, because I have risen far and fast in a relatively short amount of time, or is it because the things I had set as unachievable goals were set on too high a pedestal and not actually that remarkable? For the present, I do not know, and perhaps I will never figure it out, but I am content to just look at my journey and track my progress, because that is the true measure of success: not by comparison to others, but by comparison to yourself.

Poetry – Broken, Unbroken

“The lonely

stand in the dark corners

of their hearts.

 

I have seen them

in cities,

and in my own neighborhood,

 

nor could I touch them

with the magic

that they crave

 

to be unbroken.

Then, I myself,

lonely,

 

said hello to

good fortune.

Someone

 

came along

and lingered

and little by little

 

became everything

that makes the difference.

Oh, I wish such good luck

to everyone.

How beautiful it is

to be unbroken.”

 

– Broken, Unbroken

Mary Oliver

Poetry – Evidence

“There are many ways to perish, or to flourish.

 

How old pain, for example, can stall us at the

threshold of function.

 

Memory: a golden bowl, or a basement without light.

 

For which reason the nightmare comes with its

painful story and says: you need to know this.

 

Some memories I would give anything to forget.

Others I would not give up upon the point of

death, they are the bright hawks of my life.”

 

– excerpt from Evidence – 2

Mary Oliver